A woman who thought her husband was having an affair after he became withdrawn discovered that he actually had early-onset dementia.
Emma Ruscoe, 55, from Solihull, West Midlands, began to notice subtle signs that something was wrong with her husband, Simon, 58.
Emma said her husband stopped wanting to go out with friends and was pulling away from her, to the point that she thought he was having an affair.
Emma, an administrator, said: ‘I noticed a change in her behavior at the end of 2015.
‘Simon stopped wanting to go out with friends, he didn’t want to go out and socialise.
Emma Ruscoe, 55, from Solihull, West Midlands, began to notice subtle signs that something was wrong with her husband, Simon, 58.
“He became very secretive and I noticed that he was withdrawing more and more to the point that I thought he was having an affair.”
Towards the end of 2015, Emma noticed that Simon was taking the wrong turns when they went on family trips.
After a family vacation to Kefalonia, Greece, in August 2016, with her two sons, Alex, now 26, and Oliver, now 21, Emma noticed other changes in her husband.
The mother-of-two said Simon became very argumentative and would forget the conversations that had just happened.
Emma took him to her GP, who then referred him to a memory clinic, but getting Simon to keep an appointment was difficult.
Emma returned to the doctors in March 2018 and was again referred to a memory clinic.
Simon was seen in June 2018 and received a letter saying he did not have dementia.
Emma said: ‘When we got back from holiday, we went to our GP.
After a family holiday in Kefalonia, Greece, in August 2016, with her two sons, Alex, now 26, and Oliver, now 21, Emma noticed other changes in her husband. Pictured: The Ruscoe family
The mother-of-two said Simon became very argumentative and would forget the conversations that had just happened.
‘Simon was referred to a memory clinic, but was constantly missing appointments.
After two years of fighting, we went back to the doctors in March 2018 because he still didn’t seem well.
‘We got an appointment at the memory clinic in June 2018, they tricked us.
“There were no tests, we spoke to a psychologist and he told us that Simon was stressed.
“We received a letter stating categorically that my husband did not have dementia.”
Concerned about Simon’s deteriorating behaviour, Emma went back to her GP and was again referred to the memory clinic.
The couple went on a few appointments where Simon was evaluated, and in January 2020, he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia.
Emma said: ‘When she received the diagnosis, I felt a sense of relief.
I knew something was wrong and I was fighting for so long that no one believed there was something wrong with him.
Concerned about Simon’s deteriorating behaviour, Emma went back to her GP and was referred back to the memory clinic where she was diagnosed with early-onset dementia in 2020.
“I can’t fault my GP as he referred us to the memory clinic, but I think they should also point people to the Alzheimer’s Society.
We would have received so much advice and support. I felt a great sense of relief, from my point of view, I knew something was wrong with him.
“It was good to get an answer after fighting for so long, once I got the diagnosis I knew what I was up against.”
Shortly after Simon received his diagnosis, the UK went into lockdown and Emma said it was “difficult” to care for her husband, but they adjusted.
She said: ‘From my point of view, the lockdown was tough. I was in the mild stage of the disease.
Emma said watching the person she grew up with ‘disappear’ is ‘heartbreaking’. In the picture: the family at Christmas.
Emma said she hopes Simon continues to be cared for at home, but admits she doesn’t know what the future holds.
“But what lockdown meant to me is that I was able to work from home so Simon could take care of his own personal care.
We have to be with him, but he does it alone.
“She went from asking him to mow the lawn 12 months ago to now that she can’t do anything on her own.
“What makes things easier with Simon is that he is a lovely person, and dementia hasn’t changed that.
“I read about Fiona Phillips, and she has the right philosophy, you have to keep going as long as you can.”
Emma said she hopes Simon continues to be cared for at home, but admits she doesn’t know what the future holds.
What is early-onset dementia?
Early-onset or early-onset dementia (YOD) is defined as dementia that is diagnosed before the age of 65.
Common early symptoms of dementia are:
- Memory loss
- Difficult to focus
- Find it difficult to perform familiar everyday tasks, such as getting confused about the correct change when shopping
- Struggling to follow a conversation or find the right word
- Being confused about time and place
- Humor changes
According to an NHS blog: “Unlike late-onset dementia where the most common causes are Alzheimer’s disease, vascular or mixed dementia, YOD is more often due to rare causes, unusual presentations of the dementias common and genetic causes.
Due to these rarer causes, the NHS says it can be more difficult to diagnose YOD, adding that there is often a delay in diagnosis.
After diagnosis, there should be a care plan outlining what kind of care you and your caregivers might need.
Source: NHS
She said: “Reading the forecast, it will probably go to a house, but we will fight every step of the way – I would prefer it to be home.”
‘I have two children who live at home, my mother lives at the end of the street and helps out where she can.
‘I’m looking for a personal assistant to give us a breather and give Simon some independence.
‘It is a living pain: you see that person deteriorate. We have been together for 31 years.
“Watching the person I grew up with disappear is heartbreaking.
“On bad days I feel like my heart is being ripped out, but on good days I think I’m lucky I’m still here.
“He is my soul mate, the love of my life and always will be.”
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Source: tit.edu.vn
