https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/8170288/sue-ablett-live-separate-houses-boyfriend-key-relationship/

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https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/8170288/sue-ablett-live-separate-houses-boyfriend-key-relationship/

SUE Ablett, 72, a retired charity manager, lives three houses down from her partner John, 83, a retired dry-cleaning manager, in Leicester.

Here she reveals how living apart from her partner is the key to the success of her relationship.

5Sue Ablett, 72, a retired charity director, lives three doors down from her partnerCredit: Ian Tustin, The Vale Magazine
Sue and her partner John, 83, a retired dry cleaner's manager, live in Leicester.5Sue and her partner John, 83, a retired dry cleaner’s manager, both live in Leicester

The drinks were blaring at the housewarming party I was throwing to celebrate moving into my new home.

But while all the neighbors were very welcoming, there were also some raised eyebrows, because I wasn’t exactly a stranger on the street.

My partner John, who I had been with for seven years at the time, had lived on the same road for 10 years, but rather than do what many would see as the natural progression and move in with him, I opted to purchase a separate three doors below.

Although John and I are still firmly engaged, we have remained in separate homes throughout our relationship of more than 30 years.

I know it’s unusual, but if we had moved in together, I’m not sure we would have lasted. While we have a lot in common, we are also like chalk and cheese and need our own space.

For example, while John is very tidy, I am very messy, and we would both chafe if we were under the same roof full time.

We met in 1990 when we were part of a birding class: we had many common interests and got along well.

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John is recently divorced and has two teenage daughters, whereas I had been divorced for over a decade, childless and fiercely independent.

5Sue reveals: “We’ve stayed in separate houses for our entire 30+ year relationship” – John pictured cooking for the coupleShe says if the couple had moved in together they may not have lasted - the couple on holiday in Tanzania5 She says if the couple had moved in together, they might not have lasted – the couple on holiday in Tanzania

Neither of us was interested in remarrying, but our relationship developed.

John lived alone in the bungalow he had bought after selling the marital home, and I had my own apartment a few miles away.

We once had a fleeting conversation about buying a bigger place together, but John has a heart condition and moving would have been too stressful.

After some pretty tough times financially in my early days, owning a home seemed important to me, so we dropped the idea of ​​living together and happily moved on.

Then in 1999 I noticed a bungalow for sale a few doors down from John’s.

It felt ideal to be closer while neither of us was losing our independence. I made an offer and bought it, selling my flat in the process.

Since I moved in it has worked perfectly and I can’t imagine living any other way.

We walk our dog together every morning and eat at John’s, since he cooks everything, while I do the gardening and DIY.

I stay at his house when I want. I have recently been staying full time while fixing some flood damage at home.

My late mother, Eileen, found our arrangement a bit confusing at first, but John’s lovely daughters have never fazed.

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We both also love to travel and take vacations together. We have been to the Antarctic, the Arctic and South America.

We are a couple in every other way, but I always have my hiding place to escape to. It would drive John crazy if I were around all the time.

He is very relaxed and happy to sit and read all day, whereas I am always on the go.

I run a book festival, go to lunch with friends, run a pull out 5k program, and host community trash pickup sessions.

I also give regular travel talks via Zoom for Rest Less, an online 50+ community, so I have a lot going on, and it wears John down!

Being the chef, John does the grocery store and I contribute every month. In fact, I don’t have any food in my house, apart from dog biscuits.

But that’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to sharing finances: neither of us has any idea how much money the other has.

Although the neighbors didn’t quite know what to think at the housewarming party years ago, they now find the constant coming and going quite amusing.

I have friends who are envious of our arrangement, wishing they could do the same, while others don’t understand and wonder why we don’t want to live together.

John and I are very happy, and while we don’t like big, effusive, romantic gestures, friends say it’s clear we adore each other.

If people can afford it, I would recommend this arrangement to anyone! It works for us and I feel incredibly lucky to have the best of both worlds.

  • For more information visit Restless.co.uk.
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5She Adds: ‘We’re Also Like Chalk And Cheese And We Need Our Own Space’: The Couple Enjoy Their Shared Love Of Traveling In Antarctica

BY THE WAY

Couples who choose to live separately are known as Living Apart Together (LAT).

Actress Helena Bonham Carter and film director Tim Burton lived next door to each other for more than a decade.

Categories: Lifestyle News
Source: tit.edu.vn

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